When I was a kid, I would dream of becoming an footballer or the person who would put the jam in donuts. Well if I saw some of these job titles i’d be like “Mum!, I want to be a Pornography Historian” or “A MILF commander”
All of these awesome job titles will have you pissing your pants, so put your adult nappies on and scroll down.
Alan didn’t just stop at being a writer. No. He wanted more! Much more!
This guy just goes on and on and on and on and on……
If there’s something strange with your teenage brood, who ya gonna call?….
When you’ve qualified as a normal fisherman and you want to move up to the next level…
If you’re being sued by the aliens that live on the planet Flubzorbia in the galaxy Spomdromida, then this is the guy you need to fight for you in the Universal Court of Justice.
If you need help with knowing which colour smartie goes with what can of fizzy drink, then make sure you contact Eric.
No one knows more about shredded cheese than old Dickie.
This guy got thrown out of Science class for wearing a Viking helmet. He never got over it.
This guy solves table condiment problems all over the globe
I think every man would be able to do his job pretty well!
Pork rind experts are few and far between. You could say that because this guy is so specialist…he brings home the bacon. (Did you see what I did there?)
This guy only does Penguins. Ask him about seals and he’s fucked!
I think pretty much all of us have had this job title at one time in our lives.
The best job ever! But I’m pretty sure it means something else though
I don’t know about you, but when I go to the cinema and buy a hotdog, I want that motherfucker to dance!
This dumb bitch needs to rephrase her billboard!
An honest boss
The unofficial job of most teenagers and married men
Cool kids hang out at the local rubbish tip
Bread scientists earn loads of dough!
The perfect job, just behind MILF commander
The big door is an affectionate term for his fat wife’s big old pussy
A job not as impressive as his facial hair
It’s not just Bride Kidnapping he’s an expert in, but also Mother of the Bride Molesting in which he has a Phd in.
Pros of having a massive beard:
1. Respect from other Beardsmen
2. Local celebrity
Cons of having a massive beard:
1. Will never have sex with a woman under 16 stone.
2. Birds will live in there and have sex with other birds in your beard.
He couldn’t just be happy at Bears.
Job title from Arrested Development
He could never remember his job. It’s always on the tip of his tongue