1. Robert Benchley
2. William Faulkner and Ernest Hemingway
Faulkner: “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” Hemingway: “Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”
3. Oscar Wilde
4. Winston Churchill puts a random woman in her place
Person: “You’re drunk. And what’s more, you’re disgustingly drunk.” Churchill: “You’re ugly. And what’s more, you’re disgustingly ugly. But when I wake up, I’ll be sober, and you’ll still be ugly.”
5. Sparta
6. Mozart
7. Abraham Lincoln
8. Winston Churchill on falling asleep
9. Reed Vs Clay
10. Truman Capote
Capote, after a drunk man pulled his genitals out and asked Capote to autograph them: “I don’t know if I can autograph it, but perhaps I can initial it.”
11. P.G Woodenhouse
12. Ilka Chase
13. Judge Rockwood Hoar
14.Noel Coward Vs Edna Ferber
Noel Coward: “Edna, you look almost like a man.” Edna Ferber: “So do you.”
15. Miriam Hopkins
Singer: “You know, my dear, I insured my voice for $50,000.” Hopkins: “That’s wonderful. And what did you do with the money?”
16. Dorothy Parker
17. Montagu Vs Wilkes
Montagu: “Sir, I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of the pox.” Wilkes: “That will depend, my lord, on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.”
18. Arthur Wellesley
19. Mohamed Ali comeback to Frazier’s comment
20. Ghandi
21. Dorothy Parker’s witty reply to a drunk man.
22. Calvin Coolidge on an opera singer’s performance
